Lines To A Gentleman,
lines to a gentleman,
who had sent the poet a newspaper, and offered
to continue it free of expense.
kind sir, i've read your paper through,
and faith, to me, 'twas really new!
how guessed ye, sir, what maist i wanted?
this mony a day i've grain'd and gaunted,
to ken what french mischief was brewin;
or what the drumlie dutch were doin;
that vile doup-skelper, emperor joseph,
if venus yet had got his nose off;
or how the collieshangie works
atween the russians and the turks,
or if the swede, before he halt,
would play anither charles the twalt;
if denmark, any body spak o't;
or poland, wha had now the tack o't:
how cut-throat prussian blades were hingin;
how libbet italy was singin;
if spaniard, portuguese, or swiss,
were sayin' or takin' aught amiss;
or how our merry lads at hame,
in britain's court kept up the game;
how royal george, the lord leuk o'er him!
was managing st. stephen's quorum;
if sleekit chatham will was livin,
or glaikit charlie got his nieve in;
how daddie burke the plea was cookin,
if warren hasting's neck was yeukin;
how cesses, stents, and fees were rax'd.
or if bare arses yet were tax'd;
the news o' princes, dukes, and earls,
pimps, sharpers, bawds, and opera-girls;
if that daft buckie, geordie wales,
was threshing still at hizzies' tails;
or if he was grown oughtlins douser,
and no a perfect kintra cooser:
a' this and mair i never heard of;
and, but for you, i might despair'd of.
so, gratefu', back your news i send you,
and pray a' gude things may attend you.
ellisland, monday morning, 1790.